NY Stories - IV - de Urbe

I just landed in SFO and see myself kind of forced to wrap-up the NYC episode. I'll publish many pictures and anecdotes about my wild night at the Marquee and about Ced C v/o R and his NYC (& admittedly mainly GS) friends in other articles. But for now let me give you my impressions of NYC

Top seven signs you are a freaking tourist in NYC
- You don't ask yourself why this isn't a top ten list?
- You act like NY is tridimensional and keep on looking up, to the true New Yorker, the city is bidimensional
- You wait for green light on the sidewalk. The true New Yorker is always a couple steps on the street and just waits for the traffic to allow his crossing
- To you, Tony* is just a first name
- You stop to drink. The true New Yorker doesn't stop walking to drink nor to light a cigarette... If something goes wrong**, he will just swear!
- You are walking slowly... I mean this is just ridiculous! You are in the way, man... MOVE!
- You look so lost, actual New Yorkers offer to give you directions in the subway!

Else, a couple of reflections just on my part:
- Very useful to restrict the buying of cigarettes... Youngsters end up sponsorizing the booze of homeless alcoholics. Now I can understand that the government want to sponsorize the homeless and have them move their butt for money! Hmmm... Or maybe they want a good reason to throw them into jail for felony***
- Why the hell****do the subways, McDonalds and cast of thousand others bake as many Oatmeal Raisin cookies as they do chocolate chip cookies. On late nights, they are systematically out of chocolate chip cookies, implying not only that 1) their planning is bad and no one ever bothered reporting it but also 2) that poor IBankers will never in their NYC life be able to get a chocolate chip cookie when they get out of the office at nights. And come on, what good is money if it can't buy you a good chunk of sugar and saturated fat in the form of those delicious quasi-melting hmmmm... chocolate chip cookies?

Take care,
P

* Tony is of course Time Out New York
** meaning he is a rookie New Yorker
*** Use of fake ID is a crime... As is the supply of tobacco goods to minors or of alcoholic beverages to people under the age of 21... bla bla bla!
**** I dont really thought of the word hell here!

PS: Le concours de googl-age de cette webpage est gagné par
Vincent avec son "tel de meuf hard gratuit", et si c'est pas Vincent, en tout cas cela vient d'un proxy de Néstlé :-)
Sinon, honorable mention à Adrien aussi avec "Adrien va au Valmann et trouve une fille pour du sexe" ou encore "Adrien fait le porc au Valmann". Et si ce n'est Adrien, c'est quelqu'un qui a bien compris qu'"Adrien" et "Valmann" dans une recherche c'est déjà gagné...