The obvious way: Signalling or no?

"Lenina was smiling at him; such a nice looking boy, she was thinking, and a really beautiful body. The blood rushed up to the young man's face; he dropped his eyes, raised them again for a moment only to find her still smiling at him, and was so much overcome that he had to turn away and pretend to be looking very hard at something on the other side of the square.
Bernard's questions made a diversion. Who? How? When? From where? Keeping his eyes fxied on Bernard's face (for so passionately did he long to see Lenina smiling that he simply dared not look at her), the young man explained himself" Aldous Huxley (1894-1963), in Brave New World (1932)

Here's to shyness, here's to signalling, here's to putting your eyes where your desire, heart or lust is... And here of course to (re-)discovering that one can't lose what you don't put in the middle, but you can't win much either!



And that's what I realize I have been doing on a weekly basis: As soon as I start to get some interest, I trash the girl, start dancing or even go play pool with another*!

In these past 15 months, since I started blogging, I can list at least two long-term committment prospects I let go by trying to outsubtle myself in my mating behaviour... As for lost short-term flirts, the mind is boggled, I lost track...

This reflection of course leads to three questions:
- Am I trying to outsubtle myself? To avoid being blunt, frank or even direct, I go so far to try to impress, outwit, taunt and render jealous?
- Am I chasing the eluding 100% success rate?
- Is that why I never end up with the ambitious girls? Because they have no time to play my little games?
- Do I do this because I feel like a long unloved ugly duckling, hence unworthy, and I need to secure the interest of my "target" before making a move, fearing rejection above all things?

I think the answer to all above propositions above is "yes" and the process is probably self-sustaining: I have to reverse this!

And of course keep you posted,
Ciao! P

PS: In a rare occurence, I have some cool link I didn't get per e-mail or pumped on David's blog... Here I present you FARK.com

* true story last friday!