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My Mr. Bean moments
Lately I have been having Mr. Bean moments. And noticing more and more when this happens.
What's in a Mr. Bean moment? There are specific ingredients to a Mr. Bean moment:
- A stupid quirk* instead of being cool
- Stretching it and trying to do 15 different things at the same time instead of, well, playing it cool
- Some obsessive compulsive component instead of, say, coolness. Think trying not be dirty or trying to do something as "you" prepared it!
- Being cheap instead of, yet again, playing it cool
- Having a long foreseeable plot, yet driving in the direction instead of ... you know... playing it cool!
Think a drop of Sweet and Sour dip running along a chicken nugget while you handle a complicated traffic situation involving many a gear shift with a box of chicken nuggets on your lap, the sauce in your left hand, the one hand kind of steering the wheel by the way. Let me explain: At the same time you have a McDonald napkin in your mouth, on the side of this particular napkin - of course you asked the lady for extra napkins - you have taken the care to put a bit of sparkling water from the bottle... time and again your nugget eating right hand will try to wipe all grease from its fingertips on the napkin, as it is the eating hand getting greasy from each nugget, well the two fingers you use for that task at least.
Right there, you are in a Mr. Bean moment because
- you have to shift gears NOW
- this very action if supposed to be taken care of by the palm of your right hand
- the thumb and the index of said hand are busy trying to fit one of those O shaped nuggets in the miniature bucket of sweet & sour you only approximately open earlier using your mouth and left (a.k.a. driving) hand
- by the time you get the nugget out, your engine threatens to choke, the dip to spill, the napkin you're biting on to stain your pullover, the nugget basket to capsize, the aargauer in front of you to break without warning...
But it would all be okay, you would have it all worked out if it weren't for the drop running on your little fried victim. So you have to do the only sensible thing in this split second:
- you quickly pull back the nugget/shifting hand
- put the nugget dip side out on the napkin in your mouth without biting
- you slightly tilt your head backwards to prevent the drop from hitting anything
- press the clutch, shift the gear, press the gas
- retrieve the napking with your right hand all the while wiping clean the grease from your fingertips at the wet place on the napkin
- rotate the nugget in your mouth 180°
- take a bite of the nugget while holding the rest of it between your lips
- fold the napkin between ring finger and little finger of your right hand
- grab the half nugget, dip again, shake the drop of your now bitesize chicken and breathe a sigh of relief after swalloing it...
You still have three nuggets to go!!!
Well after my last Mr Bean moment, I swore two things:
- Never again a Mr. Bean moment if I can help it
- Never again Sweet and Sour sauce, it's disgusting...
The hot stuff right now
On a lighter and less gory note, I thought the esteemed readers of this blog might want to know that a cutting edge drinking team is always there to provide them with the right info... You already knew the Valzer was the "place to be" in ZH.
Well if you are going to talk the talk and walk the walk, you might as well drink the drink**: And right now the drink is The Cucumber Savoury Martini with Hendrick's Gin of course
Don't tell anyone, although the receipt is not guarded:
1 ½ oz. Hendrick's Gin
¾ oz. Dry Vermouth***
served on the rocks with a slice of cucumber... how fancy!
Ce week-end: Merci, bravo et bon voyage
Merci à Vincent pour ce week-end à la montagne! Joyeux séjour à Mexico (prononcer Méhhhhhico)
Joyeux anniversaire à nouveau à Daphné...
Victo, Rebecca, Sophie, Patrick, Anto, François, Judith, Alexander, Claire, Yannick, Déborah et last but not leasts Vince et Mick... A hell of a gang!
Les photos, of course, suivent! Y compris, au moins, là, là et là... Mais comme j'ai les photos d'Alexander, de Reb et les miennes, je pense pourvoir proposer du très bon...
Vous les femmes
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Cheers, P
* Quirk = Manie = Macke
** Especially if a couple of your female friends have already told you something along those lines:
"you are really not as boring as I thought you were as I first was introduced to you. But then again you were sober then..." Always pleasant!
*** Although Charlotte recommends a fancy Lillet Blanc, the author prefers very dry bitters, and will be seen indulging a Noilly Prat or even a lowly Martini extra dry...
2 Comments:
More and more I come to the conclusion that you construct yourself and your life like a work of art. In a way you've become your own Pygmalion. I mean, I don't think that's bad. I do like it.
Keep going on your maybe-never-ending quest, fellow!
I also readily accept the fact that my blog is first and foremost a narcissistic monument to my greatness, for me & by me...
Coming to this realization allows me to really do some propaganda!
P
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