Setting-up one's mid-life crisis...

Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.
- Jane Wagner

Lately, I realized that many couples are doomed to fail!

And it's also somehow the consensus, not just me being all weirdy. And above all that, not only are they doomed, but one or more parts of the couple is aware of it...

Well, it's not quite the topic of the day. You could say this is a symptom of people just "enjoying life", just like socialists are "helping each other". Without stopping for a moment and thinking that maybe there is a trap, just maybe...

I had already written about the differences in short-term and long-term investment in one's life here and I definitely intend to finish my piece on strategy sometime soon. But for now...

My topic for the day is settling for an unsatisfactory job and/or a suboptimal relationship

Why?
My theory remains a combination of frustration, fatigue & hedonism.
- After enough time of far misses a near miss looks like a victory
- After a long period of low tide/bad beats, a little respite in what seems to have steady-state quality seems like a good idea
- There's nothing wrong in doing oneself some good

What does that mean?
That means a period of prolonged stability in a job and/or with a partner that is not fitting for the long-term.

How is that bad?
It's bad for different reasons: Lock-in effect & loss of valuable time
- The lock-in effect can occur in a job where the wrong skill set is developped leading to a permanent lock into an undesired job type, or in a relationship where faith into the couple is key and a self-convinced "I love her" can set you up for a long time...
- If the suboptimal situation is ever acknowledged and accepted, the lost time to find a better steady-state can only be interpreted as a mistake

And finally, the killer in my opinion: The mid-life crisis

Let's first quote what Wikipedia says about midlife crisis:

Midlife crisis is a term used in Western societies to describe a period of dramatic self-doubt that is felt by some individuals in the "middle years" of life, as a result of sensing the passing of youth and the imminence of old age. Sometimes, transitions experienced in these years, such as aging in general, menopause, the death of parents, or children leaving home, can trigger such a crisis. The result may be a desire to make significant changes in core aspects of day to day life or situation, such as in career, marriage, or romantic relationships.

A midlife crisis could be caused by aging itself, or aging in combination with changes, problems, or regrets over:
- work or career
- spousal relationships
- maturation of children
- aging or death of parents
- physical changes associated with aging

Individuals experiencing a mid-life crisis have some of these feelings:
- search of an undefined dream or goal
- a deep sense of remorse for goals not accomplished
- desire to achieve a feeling of youthfulness
- need to spend more time alone or with certain peers

In other terms, settling for what they shouldn't have settled for or not thinking about what they really wanted!

Hence a piece of advice I have already given several times:
Challenge yourself, challenge your status quo - Live!

Really I mean it!
P