Work hard, Play hard... et un peu de déconne!

Quand il n'est pas occupé par son herbier, le petit P sème des pierres blanches dans la forêt... Adepte de vieilles séries policères allemandes, il n'est pas peu commun de le trouver en train de manger la choucroûte devant la télé!

17 janvier 2009

The Hail Mary Pass... Or why some guys do and some don't!

This is a call to all other dorks, nerds and other intraverted blokes reading my blog... We need to go out there and try things more!
As I was narrating the story of the end of my evening to a female friend in Canada, I realized this was prime material for some of my readership, so here you are somewhat delayed the edited version of this chat. If you are not a single male, please stop reading now... Or read on to your discretion...

To Barney S. and the Naked Man, without whom this could never have been possible...

The Intro (and a bit of shameless commercial for myself)
[01:01:09] PC says: And you? You'll have a tough time then I hear?
[01:02:01] Young Lady says: with this semester? well, the entire semester is going to be rough, but i know when you're coming in, so as long as I don't have a presentation the next day, then i should be up for whatever
[01:02:23] PC says: COOOOOOOOOOOOL
[01:02:33] Young Lady says: i'm excited! it's always a fun time with patrice!
[01:02:38] PC says: let me tell you two things preventively...
[01:02:45] Young Lady says: ok...

The reason this chat took place in the first place
[01:03:05] PC says: #1 : Even though my speech (chat) might sound coherent - I am somewhat under the influence right now...
[01:03:12] Young Lady says: hahahahaha
[01:03:13] Young Lady says: nice
[01:03:18] Young Lady says: i wouldn't expect less, patrice.

The topic of the chat - the Hail Mary pass
[01:03:19] PC says: AND
[01:03:28] PC says: #2 : I have to tell you a little story about what big sport bet enthusiasts call the "Hail Mary Pass"
BTW: sorry you might have slipped into my whining about the current evening, please feel free to do something else while I write my sorry story

The setting of the story

So tonight I had some pints with a couple friends in a trendy location (somewhat off the trend, it was actually trendy 4 years ago, but still)
So I am with those two good friends (two ex-BCGers) at the tramway station (Zurich still has tramways, they are way cool btw)
and we watch the SNL short "Dick in a box" on an iPhone

[01:06:30] Young Lady says: hahaha, that's an amazing skit

then they go with a tram, but I have to go in the opposite direction...

The story per se
I cross the lines and start waiting... and I see a gorgeous even though a bit older looking woman... (when I say a bit older I mean mid-thirties)

[01:07:52] Young Lady says: haha, ok.

so I go up to her and ask:
"Are you waiting for a tram? Do you know for sure a tram is coming?"
She answer that yes, a 2 and a 3 are coming... or an 8 or a 14... No a 2 or a 3...
"oh ok, we live in the same region... Kalkbreite, right?"
She nods... and she says something about my accent and about the fact that she has lived in France back in the days...

We chat for about five minutes about accents, about her having been in France, her being from Germany, not far from Luxemburg, me knowing Luxembourg, her having been in Zurich for 8 years, me being from Lake Geneva region, her knowing Lake Geneva region, me not being french, her knowing Lake Geneva region, her speaking French, her having been in france twenty years ago upon completion of high school...

well... I figure she's at the end of her thirties... She obviously loves my accent, I think of her more and more as a potential lover, so I even decide to go for a so called "Hail Mary Pass" (like in American Football, when a Quarterback goes for an impossible pass in the hope a wide receiver or a tight end will get it)

Then she somehow mentionned she had had two too many wine glasses. That's where I missed my first opening...

We talk a bit more about accents and I go all shy on saying I like to conceal my accent as I don't like to play it as a seductive play...
She replies it has "du charme" and she "loves it", but she also states she likes it much more than her boyfriends accent, her boyfriend being Swiss German...

And there...

I lost it...

All seduction theory says you should ignore when a girl says she has a boyfriend... But I just didn't... Stupid me!

[01:22:10] Young Lady says: awwwww, you went for it anyways?

No, I didn't! I kept saying "well... You ought to love the Swiss German accent" and imitated it to great comic effect...

I suggested "dinner among girlfriends?"

She said no, dinner with her boyfriend

[01:24:18] Young Lady says: and....?

I should have replied "so why is he not with you?"

By the way: by this time we have gotten out of the tram and we are talking on the street... So attraction is proved, as she'd have walked out on me if it hadn't been the case!

[01:26:13] Young Lady says: hm

So I should have replied "so why didn't you take him home" and followed with a classic "I don't know how you feel about him, I feel you're not so sure, but I'll be away for 8 weeks and I'd hate myself for not doing this..." and kissed her right there on the spot...

[01:26:55] Young Lady says: but you didn't

A bit of theory might be needed here

40 year olds think kissing is trivial and shagging can be explained by a mere physical need... So one should kiss them and try to lead from that to actual scoring...

[01:27:43] Young Lady says: well, maybe

It's funny how some women deny the fact that a good kiss with a hand in the hair at the right place and the right whisper at the right strength in the ear can ultimately lead to sex. It's not about feelings anymore, it's all just learned skills... like a circus monkey!

But I went with a much more defensive line... I made her laugh a bit more and then we parted ways...

[01:30:11] Young Lady says: haha

Much like a quarterback putting his knee down without hope of getting anything out of the drive instead of doing a Hail Mary Pass and try to get somewhere with that... I dropped the ball on "third and ten"! And then all that was left to me was to kick myself...


Until next time, may you go for the Hail Mary Pass sometime...

Libellés : , ,


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