Setting-up one's mid-life crisis...

Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.
- Jane Wagner

Lately, I realized that many couples are doomed to fail!

And it's also somehow the consensus, not just me being all weirdy. And above all that, not only are they doomed, but one or more parts of the couple is aware of it...

Well, it's not quite the topic of the day. You could say this is a symptom of people just "enjoying life", just like socialists are "helping each other". Without stopping for a moment and thinking that maybe there is a trap, just maybe...

I had already written about the differences in short-term and long-term investment in one's life here and I definitely intend to finish my piece on strategy sometime soon. But for now...

My topic for the day is settling for an unsatisfactory job and/or a suboptimal relationship

Why?
My theory remains a combination of frustration, fatigue & hedonism.
- After enough time of far misses a near miss looks like a victory
- After a long period of low tide/bad beats, a little respite in what seems to have steady-state quality seems like a good idea
- There's nothing wrong in doing oneself some good

What does that mean?
That means a period of prolonged stability in a job and/or with a partner that is not fitting for the long-term.

How is that bad?
It's bad for different reasons: Lock-in effect & loss of valuable time
- The lock-in effect can occur in a job where the wrong skill set is developped leading to a permanent lock into an undesired job type, or in a relationship where faith into the couple is key and a self-convinced "I love her" can set you up for a long time...
- If the suboptimal situation is ever acknowledged and accepted, the lost time to find a better steady-state can only be interpreted as a mistake

And finally, the killer in my opinion: The mid-life crisis

Let's first quote what Wikipedia says about midlife crisis:

Midlife crisis is a term used in Western societies to describe a period of dramatic self-doubt that is felt by some individuals in the "middle years" of life, as a result of sensing the passing of youth and the imminence of old age. Sometimes, transitions experienced in these years, such as aging in general, menopause, the death of parents, or children leaving home, can trigger such a crisis. The result may be a desire to make significant changes in core aspects of day to day life or situation, such as in career, marriage, or romantic relationships.

A midlife crisis could be caused by aging itself, or aging in combination with changes, problems, or regrets over:
- work or career
- spousal relationships
- maturation of children
- aging or death of parents
- physical changes associated with aging

Individuals experiencing a mid-life crisis have some of these feelings:
- search of an undefined dream or goal
- a deep sense of remorse for goals not accomplished
- desire to achieve a feeling of youthfulness
- need to spend more time alone or with certain peers

In other terms, settling for what they shouldn't have settled for or not thinking about what they really wanted!

Hence a piece of advice I have already given several times:
Challenge yourself, challenge your status quo - Live!

Really I mean it!
P

My opinion on the newest Bond

Pros

- Good action movie
- Fast paced
- Incredibly well filmed, ambiance very strong a lot of good effects: dampened sounds, slow-motion on Tosca Music, 8mm handcam grain effect
- Very little product placement (you barely see an omega, of course there are a few fords, alphas, and the occasional Smirnoff flash, Gordon Gin or this Kina Lillet, but it's nothing over the top)

Contras

- Too little Bond-like discussions (some but too little)
- No Champagne
- No "Bond, James Bond" !!!
- No Q, nor gadgets
- Too few shags: He only does Gemma A, but not Olga K. As a reminder: James used to actually shag three per movie...
- Crappy non-philharmonic theme song

All-in-all, I'm not as disappointed as some. I'm rather positive even... It's a great movie!

It's no Top 5: Goldeneye, Casino Royale, Goldfinger, Diamonds are forever, The Spy who loved me...

But it's in the league of the good ones, not in the bottom 3: Moonraker, On Her Majesty's Secret Service, Die Another Day...

Cheers,
P

Plain ladies - Slutiness or Virtue?

Here's a theory that I've had for some time and finally made it to digital!

[Some lines of transversal discussion have been removed but most the chat is complete...
Unedited for orthography nor grammar!
The name of my sparring partner has been removed, but I can only say it's a very smart cookie!!!]

The intro & the build-up

[01:18:57] A Fabulous Chick: patrice!!
[01:19:02] A Fabulous Chick: cheer me up please :)
[01:19:32] ME : I'm in a Skype threesome right now and at the same time online with S and trying to write an article about fat chicks
[01:20:03] ME : but let me stop all that NOW
[01:20:13] A Fabulous Chick: lol
[01:20:25] A Fabulous Chick: fat chicks...? i dont even really want to know what triggered that
[01:20:29] *** PC has changed the chat topic to "Patrice goes for the better task of cheering up Mademoiselle!!!"
***

The theory

[01:32:03] ME : I've had this theory for a long time: Unattractive ladies tend to drift one of two ways and then reinforce that stance progressively until it's not really decent anymore...
[01:35:04] A Fabulous Chick: and im not sure i get your theory, but thats not really surprising lol
[01:35:09] ME: Either they get laid and discover the carnal pleasures and then tend to be a bit easier and more explorative (for lack of a better word) than regular ladies
[01:38:13] ME: so back to our slightly overweight ladies
[01:38:21] A Fabulous Chick: yes
[01:38:34] A Fabulous Chick: well i have a theory on that too
[01:38:41] ME: so either they have a normal sex life and become slutty in order to get some
[01:38:47] ME: sorry for the reduction
[01:39:11] ME: Or they rationalize the fact that they don't get men by stating that they themselves are quite picky and waiting for Mr. Right
[01:39:23] ME: of course this attitude is the highway to spinster...
[01:39:49] ME: but some stay this course for a looooooong time before going for diet or slutdom
[01:40:00] A Fabulous Chick: well OR they realise that overweight is not a characteristic but rather a current state and actually take action
[01:40:01] ME: (or is it rather sluttiness)
[01:40:19] ME: true - going for diet
[01:40:32] ME: I know people who went that way quite successfully actually

The awkward moment

[01:40:48] A Fabulous Chick: i dont think that there is a higher proportion of fat women dressing slutty than other women
[01:40:59] A Fabulous Chick: i just think you notice them more (in a weird way)
[01:41:36] ME: I'm not talking about dressing
[01:41:40] ME: I'm talking behaviour
[01:41:45] ME: putting out
[01:41:52] A Fabulous Chick: still, im not buying it
[01:41:57] ME: well
[01:42:31] ME: the prude, pruder, even more prude, so prude it's silly and finally Sister Maria-Magdalena prude evolution has been proven
[01:42:44] ME: and the "put out" version not quite...

The very awkward moment

[01:42:56] A Fabulous Chick: mmmmmmmmmmm
[01:43:06] A Fabulous Chick: have you been sleeping with fat women?? is this the issue

The finale

[01:43:06] ME: but first and foremost because many quite attractive women are also happy in bed...
[01:43:14] A Fabulous Chick: (smirk)

Thank you Mademoiselle, you are truly fabulous!

Cheers,
P

PS: Dédicace spéciale à un admiratrice silencieuse... Chose promise, chose dûe!

Quit the bandwagon...

As it seems, lately, that most of the people were pretty sure of themselves and without contrast in their opinion, I have to add my grain of salt!

I don't like people without doubts and I couldn't help noticing how people who normally would shy away from any kind of intelligent political talk seemed to have a firmly rooted opinion:
Obama it is!!!

Really???

Are you sure you have an opinion???



After a long work for myself determining whether all the arguments were worth voting for what still amounts to a socialist and finding that yes, they were so:
- Creationism, guns, a wall against immigration, pro-life, etc...
- The fact that J McC had a great likelihood of dying a president and that Palin in his place would be a catastrophe (the killer one)

I'd just like to post two cards to show my irony towards this collective behaviour and tell people:
Really! Stop getting on those trendy bandwagons and think for yourself!!!

Now! Really? Can you tell me?



Cheers,
P